I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
