I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
