well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
