the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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