Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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