I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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