I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
