not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize