I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
