I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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