Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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