I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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