I just cut my nipple shaving
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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