Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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