We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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