do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
