Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
