just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
