I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
