The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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