I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
