But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
