Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
