He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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