and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
