you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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