seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You are a genius and a whore.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
