I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
