Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
