Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
