God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
