u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
