Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
A bitchslap is in order.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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