We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
