so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
