Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
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No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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