Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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