thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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