one two three fourrrrnication!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
