i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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