I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
