I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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