I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
