I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
