She's JV to your varsity
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
