omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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