Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
