in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
