i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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