Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
