she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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