Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
