Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
