So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
