I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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