ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
