yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
