he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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