He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
