I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
