Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
