New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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