Duck Duck Cougar?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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