no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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