maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
