I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
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isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We're too hungover to prance.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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