It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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